what's in your purse?

and I wonder why my shoulders hurt. There was a commercial the other night on t.v. asking about getting enough of the daily dietary requirement of fruit and vegetables in your life. It flashed on a woman pulling a bruised banana out of her purse and I could relate. Usually, I carry a banana, a baggy of nuts and a bottle of water to school with me so I can have a bit of something to get my brain in gear. Sometimes, I forget about the banana or just can't find it for a day or two. Yeah, I know. I did learn to clean out my rolling book bag more often between semesters. Between Winter and Spring semesters this last year, I found a dried black, dusty, husky shell of a banana in it. Eeeuuww- I know. So, back to the purse. I decided to take inventory of it after seeing that commercial. This is what I found. Numerous pens, pencils, lead to pencils that had fallen out, an erasure from one of the pencils, lot's of paper's with crap written all over them, receipts from the grocery, Nicoderm patches that I'm supposed to start wearing one of these days, matches , lighters, my checkbook, my big-a%$&* wallet that "gawd only knows" what's in it (didn't have the heart to pull it apart), various prescriptions, allergy pills for me to take because of my Aunt's cat that I'm allergic to, lipstick, Chapstick, a spoon for the yogurt that I sometimes put in my purse to eat while at school, 3 paint can openers, only one dog biscuit, nail polish, a bottle of water, gum, the leather pouch for my carry around camera that's not in there, cocoa butter for my dry skin, itchy scalp lotion for psoriasis, to go Splenda tablets, hair picks, face powder, eyeliner and new contact lenses in original cases from the eye-doctor. Oh, and tweezers, a single herbal tablet for stress care, a Crystal Light packet from my friend Kathy for immunity (from what? Myself!!), a couple of Hot Tamale candies that fell out from their box, some smushed York peppermint candy patties, a measuring tape, and my favorite tissues that are imprinted with "I see London-I see France-I travel the world in frilly underpants!" Those are from Hobby Lobby! At least today I didn't pull out one of the many dog leads or books that is usually in there. For the sake of all, I won't go into detail about the large amounts of tobacco and trash that was in the bottom of said purse. But let me tell you this, I could survive on a small island in the middle of nowhere if my plane went down. At least for a few days! Should I be embarrassed? What's in your purse? Go ahead and tell me; inquiring minds want to know!