Life of Roux by Bentley Beargrass

Here is the list of everything she eats. She drives the 2-legged's craaazy.
In the beginning she started with my toys, shredding them one by one till there was nothing left but big, fuzzy white pieces floating everywhere. Then she started getting a hankering for shoes. The shoes originally started out on an old lawyer's bookcase- 4 levels, top to bottom. Then the Momma moved them up to the 2nd level from the bottom to the top. She went after those too. Then all the way to the top shelf and the rest into the back bedroom closet with the door shut. That solved that- for a few days. Then the other Momma forgot and took hers off for just a minute one day and "Shoe Roux" took off with one of a brand new pair that had replaced one of 7 pairs. The 2nd Momma realized it quickly but it was in the backyard already chewed. Hmmppff. Then.......Roux became known as "Chew Roux" because she destroyed a dustpan that the 1st Momma had left outside in backyard terriertory. And she destroyed 2 red Kongs- have you ever heard of such? Now she gets the super-duper Giant Black Kong's and the 1st Momma says she's gonna write the Kong company and see if they'll come up with an even stronger Kong if Roux eats those. Next up, she decided she likes to eat paper products- you can't believe how many boxes of Kleenex she's swiped. Everything,and I do mean everything started getting moved up to the high places in the house. Roux decided that she didn't like the 2nd Momma's cigarettes and took those to the backyard to destroy- didn't smoke or eat them, thank Dog. She swipes all and any water bottles sitting around. This is probably because she loves anything water. There are new rugs everywhere because she drinks like a slob. She practically gets in the water bowls when drinking and her beard brings massive amounts of water with her every step. That's actually kinda funny to watch. I taught her to go drink out of the potty bowl so she can flood the bathroom floor. At least I'm not the only one called "potty mouth" around here anymore. The other day was the best- we've been getting mucho amounts of rain for weeks so we needed baths according to the 2nd Momma, she even informed Roux she was fragrant and not in a good way. What do you expect when Roux celebrates in the pouring down rain by running around in it like an absolute fool and comes in soaking wet! When the 1st Momma went to run water for her own bath that morning, there was Roux as usual drinking all the water coming out of the tub faucet. When the 1st turned around in the bathroom for a minute, Roux jumped in, ankle deep, waiting patiently for her bath. She smells better is all I can say. She got her bath. Oh yeah, she has become a counter-surfer extraordinaire. The Momma's had set a trap for her with the cookie sheets last week but she is sneaky and never went back for a few days. Then she struck- pork ribs with the special sauce on the grill. Somebody left the spatula on the counter and she snatched it and in typical "Chew Roux" fashion destroyed it. Well, the cookie sheets, scary penny water bottle and paper towel with a bit of sauce to lure her were positioned precariously on the counter. HeHe! She fell for it and got in so much trouble. Terrierfied, Roux flew out the doggie door and didn't get near the kitchen for at least a day. She is constant trouble, I say. Anyway, it appears according to the Momma's that she is probably younger than they originally thought when they rescued her a few months ago. Roux is growing- so far about two inches in height. And she eats and eats and eats. She has learned from me to go push the empty bowls around when she's hungry. Ha! She even has a really big smart bump on her head. The first Momma says this isn't good because it means her brain is big and she will always try to outsmart the 2-legged's. Lately all the words we hear around here are "No; Down; Go lay down; Sit- Wait- Easy- Soft kisses- Good Girl- Oh Roux, you can be a good girl; Get in your crate; God, give me more patience than I already have, please!; and the very best is AAAAAGGGGHHHH, what now!" It's better than a circus around here, or maybe a zoo or a preschool. I don't know, it's always something. Anyways- till next time- have a great week and don't forget to pick up your shoes 'cause "Chew Roux" is back in town!

Yours truly,
Bentley Beargrass
(I'm perfect or at least I let them think I am)